Messy mind @!#$%?&

Assalamualaikum,,

0ke ..tu a part of my life during my extend ..now terlintas kat hati nak luahkan perasaan ploppp..takde sape sape pon tau sebab aku malas nak bising sangat,,lagipon tak penting mane pon pasal diri aku nie kann..hoho.Oke,,sape sape yg dah kenal aku mesti tau aku nie dah banyak kali dpermainkan oleh kaum jantan/lelaki/man/boy/siswa/adam ..aku dah P E N A T, L E T I H, S A K I T ..memang aku dah tak sangat layan lelaki sekarang nie,,yg mintak no phone or nak couple pon memang aku malas nak layan sangattt..aku reply text diorang pon kekadang je sampaikan some of them marahkan aku sebab tak reply .huh .mampos la kannn..lelaki semua sama,,aku tau tak semua laki macam nie but aku tak jumpa lagi laki yg betol betol gentleman baik soleh setia responsible and loving forever .kekadang i do felt lonely but then when i look at my friends and their couple,,i do felt their happiness and i am happy for their side .aku dah gerun sesangat ,,takot dah nak bagi perasaan aku pada sape.takot dikecewakan lagi,,takot dipermainkan lagi .aku taknak nangis lagi dahhh .sebab tu aku jauhkan diri aku,,and sekarand jantan tak guna tu cari aku balek and aku nak bagitau yg aku dah takde perasaan pada dia.our pic dulu ponn aku dah delete.aku dah dapat lupakan dia sepenuhnya and hati aku bahagia dengan orang lain !! Alhamdulillah..

But after all,,my adopted brother since i was in form 5 long long time a go and now im 20th..!! had long time before he did tell me and for now he text me back and ask me to meet him . he said that he really wanna meet me for once and even if after met me once ,,and if i do not wanna met him any more so he pleased whatever my decison is..i just felt pity towards him because he did contact me for years and didn't treated him well..so i decided to meet him at Dklasik cafe.i couldnt ate in front of him because im ashamed and i just drank and gave an excuse that im already full.then after that he took me going to the airport because incidentally on that day was the day of our first time country's football player came back for a trophy parade(Piala FA) of their victory with Sime Darby. Well,for sure a guy do love the football game right.so he asked me to wait for a while on the street in his car before he sent me back.he want to see the football players with their trophy.so,,hmmm..oke la.he treated me well ,had a lot of talk and talked to me nicely.the way he talked to me i could say that i found a new guy again.he always text me.im not sure yet about this feeling.but i had told my ma and abah bout him.i told everything etc.his work,family,salary,hometown,name..hahahaha..its funny right.im still 20th and its too early to talk about this.but abah said he want to checked him up.OMG ..haha.we're still friend and im not sure what do i felt towards him.but sometimes lately i did missed him because we both did text each other every night and if he doesnt text me,,i felt like something's wrong.Plus,,he also did told me that he missed me and wanna meet me again.

huh,,my mind is in mess !@#$%^&